A Life Through Photos
by iheartcolin
Summary: Tony comes over to Ziva's place and finds a photo album...slight tiva.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer-not mine...

A/N- Hello all! This is just a story I felt like writing. A lot of the stories Ziva will tell are true (or based on truth) and happend to me or my friends. I have always had a diffrent view on Ziva then most fanfic writers so I thought I would explore what I think to be that case. Hope you enjoy and please leave a comment and tell me how to do better. Please note that English is not my first language so I am sorry for all the errors.

A Life Through Photos

"Hello Tony". Ziva greeted Tony at her door. This was his first time at her place since returning from Somalia. They both wanted to repair their broken relationship and when Tony offered Ziva over for a movie she insisted he come over to her place and she would cook. "Dinner will be ready in just a second" She called as she entered the kitchen. Tony walked towards the couch but on his way he saw a photo album decorated with glitter and hebrew block letters with a picture of a young Ziva smiling. He couldn't help but smile _'the same Ziva, still has that beautiful smile'. _He couldn't believe how young and innocent she looked. He was so mesmerized by the photo that he didn't even notice Ziva sneak up behind him and whisper in his ear "Boo!".

"Yaayyyaa! Ziva!" He jumped in surprise. "Sorry, I couldn't help but-" She stopped when she noticed what he was holding. "My aunt Neddie sent it over the other day, it is a photo album of my time in the army" she explained. "Can we look at it together? Maybe you can tell me about it?" She loved the sound of hope in his voice. "I will tell you what Tony, first we shall eat then I will stuff you in". "It's fill you in, Ziva" He just loved it when she got them wrong.


	2. Misibat Giyus

**AN-Thanks so much for the reviews! The more I get the faster I write! I hope to upload a chapter a day.**

"You sure are making me fat Zee" He said as he patted is full belly. "I take it you liked it". "Very much so" He told her as he picked up his plate from the table and took it to the kitchen. "Now time for the album of kiddie zee-vah". She loved it when he stretched her name out like that. "Ok come sit on the sofa". They both sat in the middle of the sofa, much closer then necessary but they botherd loved the contact.

"Ok lets see here..." Ziva opened the photo album and to Tony's surprise the first 4 pictures on the page where of a teenage Ziva and some other people that looked about her age out at what appeared to be a night club. "You look way too young to be at a place like that...and with achohol no less, how old were you 12?!"

I was 18 and legal in Israel. The first two pictures are of me and my friends at my 'Going into the army party" she told him. Tony noticed the small smile on her face. He liked seeing her remembering happy times. "The bottom two are from the night before I went . Everyone told me to stay at home and go to bed early that night but I was too.." she trailed off, not wanting to finish her thoughts. "Too what Ziva?" He asked. She couldn't take the begging eyes. "I was scared!" she blurted out. "I was a kid and going into the army. I had no idea what my job would be. I had never lived on my own and I didn't no anyone there." she told him honestly. "So you partied?" he was genuinely shocked by this. He wandered when Ziva went from being so care free to hard core Mossad assain.

"Why do you find that so hard to believe Tony? I was young too once you know". For some reason Tony felt himself drawn to this young care free Ziva. "Tell me more" He asked as he looked at the picture of 18 year old Ziva dressed in a dark purple dress with a leather jacket with a bunch of other young people all with drinks in hand and a cigarette.

_Flashback_

_"Hey Ziva!" Tomer called me from across the street. "Out to enjoy your last night of freedom?" He asked laughing. Tomer was a few years older then me and had been in for almost two years working as a technical officer in the air-force or 'snich' as I would soon learn they were called._

_"Everybody is already inside the club, you coming?" _

_"I wouldn't miss it Zivush"_

_'I feel scared. I suddenly find myself wishing I didn't have to go tomorrow. I don't know what I will be doing there or who I will serve with. Heck I have never lived away from home. I can't drive yet but they will give my a gun as big as me to shoot?'_

_I see Igor coming my way. He is from my school. He is Russian but his hebrew is very good by now. "Hey Ziva want to dance?" _

_'Do I want to dance?! Of course I do! I want to forget and I want a drink! I want to have one last night of fun."_

_"Sure" I answered. "But lets get a drink first"._

_End of flashback_

"...And the next morning when I had to report for duty I had the worst hangover! I was so very tired and a nervous wreck. "You? My super ninja? I have a hard time seeing that".

"Oh really?" she challenged. "Turn the page".


	3. Bakum

**Ok, now is when the story really starts. Like I have said. A lot of the things Ziva does and feels is based on my life and my friends. For obvous reasons this story will not include to much info on the IDF (I don't want to get in trouble lol).**

**I know I write Ziva and her family diffrent then most people on this site. I read lots of fanfiction and enjoy them. But I wanted to base mine off of a tipacle Israeli family or how I see/think Ziva would be and is.**

**Please review!**

"...And the next morning when I had to report for duty I had the worst hangover! I was so very tired and a nervous wreck. "You? My super ninja? I have a hard time seeing that".

"Oh really?" she challenged. "Turn the page"

He did as told and couldn't hold back his laughter. "It's not that funny" Ziva said as she elbowed him in the side. "Oh yes it is" he said between laughs. Ziva was in dark jeans and a white top with some writing in hebrew on it that he could not read. Her hair was in a messy ponytail and she looked like she had gotton no sleep the night before. She was carrying a backpack that looked as big as her.

"That was when we were getting ready to leave to go to the "Bakum". That was were I had to report for duty. He looked at the second picture was of Ziva and a little girl that looked about eight. She was tanned and had long dark black curly hair. She had her arms wrapped around ZIva. She was smiling but she looked said.

"Tali" he asked quitly. "Yes, she did not want me to go. She was scared."

"I can understand why" Ziva only knoded at him in reply.

In the next phote was a younger looking Eli David, Tony couldn't help but notice the saddness in the mans eyes, even if he was smiling. Next to him was a woman who looked a lot like Ziva. Not so much in looks but more in personality. Tali and Ziva stood on either side of the couple. In the backrounds were many other teenage girls and their families.

"That is my family at the Bakum with me. As you have probobly guessed the woman in my mother, Avivit"

"She is beautiful" Tony said, eyes still glued to the picture. "They all look said to see you go" He commented.

"Not what you expected from Eli yes?"

"Well yeah..I'm sorry Zee it's just-"

"That is alright Tony. I understand why you would think that. But listen, Eli wasn't always the way he is now. He used to be just plain Abba to me. It was not until I signed up for Mossad that I found out that he was too."

"What?! You didn't know?"

Ziva just shook her head 'no'. "I thought he worked for the Forgin Ministry. That is why he traveled a least...that is what I thought at the time".

"Tell me about it" He asked her. She just looked at him like he was crazy. "About that day. Your first day. Tell me about the David's taking their oldest daughter to her first day of service.

"Ok, well...my day started at 5:00 am that morning..."

_Flashback_

_I heard my alarm ring but I couldn't even bring myself to open my eyes. I felt sick. I can hear someone come in my room._

_"Ziva'le" I heard my mother whisper as she sat down up the bed next to me. "Lo Rotza!"* I say louder then nessisery. _

_"I know metuka sheli* but today is your big day, you must get ready" she said as she rubbed my back._

_"Ima, I'm scared" I tell her with tears in my eyes. "I don't want to go!"_

_I have never seen my Ima look so sad. "Oh, don't tell me that mamush*. Look at me!" she said putting her hands on my shoulders forceing me too look at her._

_"You will be so good! You are smart, beautiful and can do anything! You will meet great people. I'm not saying it will be easy because it won't be. You will laugh , cry get angry get sad all of it. But that is part of life because that is how we must live." I was crying now. sobbing like I a baby._

_"You know what the situation is her my love, you realise that we all must serve in order to servive. You have been protected by others now for 18 years. Now it is your turn, tomarow it will be someone elses"_

_"Why can't Israel be like America?! Where whoever once to goes in?" I say with a sniffel. "Because they are not surounded by people wanting to kill them everyday. Because they are so much bigger and have so much more people then we do here. Because like it or not Ziva this is how we must live so we can live. Believe me soon you will realise this yourself. Now get dressed booba* we don't have much time left" _

_I could see Ima's tears well up in her eyes as she said what she did. I knew today was harder for her then it was for me. I have to stay strong for her today. For little Tali"_

_I got out of bed and started getting dressed for the day. The day my life would change._

_End of flashback._

"So the 'Israeli sense of duty' came from your mother and not Eli, that isn't what I was expecting"

"Not just from her but she was deffently an enfluenes on me."

"She sounds a lot like you"

"I'd like to think I am like her"

"Keep going! I want to here what happens next!" He sounded like a 5 year old.

"Ok well after getting lost 3 times we found the Bakum"

_Flashback_

_"Finaly!" said jumping out of the car and going around to get my bag. _

_"Look on the bright side, When Tali goes in we will at least know where it is and not have to get up so early" Eli answered while going around the car as well and taking my hevy bag from me to carry. "Whatever Abba" I said rolling my eyes._

_"Oh stop it you too" Ima called. standing waiting for us to get going, Tali in hand. "Well lets get this show on the road" I say as I led the way. Trying not to show how nervous I was. _

_We enter the area and there are houndreds of people there. Other girls my age with backpacks as big as they are. Parents and little kids. Soilders trying to keep everyone in line. I look up at the blank screen. I know that once the next list of names comes up mine will be on it. Only a few moments left of freedom._

_Ima keeps taking pictures or asking others to take some of all of us. Then much to soon the board lights up with names and mine is on it. "Thats me" I say and give them a nervous smile. I hope Abba can't see I'm nervous. We start to walk towards the bus. We get as far as they let families go and stop. Abba puts my bag on the ground and Tali wrapers her arms around me sobbing._

_"I am going to miss you so much!" she says to me. "I love you Tali" I tell her. I then turn to my mother who is no loger bothering to hide the tears in her eyes. "You are such a great young woman Ziva. You will do wonderful. Call me if you need anything" We hug so tight I can't breathe but I don't ever want to let go. We here them say 'Last call! All girls on the bus!" and we seperate. "I love you Ima" I tell her. I can't cry. I have to be strong for her. "I love you so much motek". I then turn to Abba. I try to read him but I cannot. He looks sad but he is smiling. He was never a warm person but he pulls my into a strong hug and I hug him back just as tightly._

_"I love you Ziva'le."_

_"I love you too Abba" and I ment it._

_When he lets go I look at his face and see tears beging to well up. "Well get going. Don't want to miss your bus on the first day. That comes later" He says with a wink at the last remark. _

_I put my backpack on and I almost fall over it is so heavy. Somehow I manage to put in in the bottom of the bus. I show my papers to the young female soilder sitting in the front of the bus. She looks at them and tells me to sit down. I sit by myself next to the window and look and see all the parents standing there looking at the bus as more girls keep getting on. I spot my family in the cround and wave._

_"Hey" says a girl with a short black ponytail and cute glasses. "My name is Tzlil" she sits down next to me smiling. "Ziva" I answer._

_Suddenly the bus pulls out and it finnaly sinks in on my. 'I'm in the army now'._

_**Tzlil is the name of the first person I met on my first day in the IDF. This Chapter is for her.**_

**_*Motek-sweety_**

**_*Lo Rotza-I don't wanna_**

**_*Metuka-my sweet_**

**_*Giyus-draft_**

**_*Masiba-Party_**

**_Don't forget to review!_**


	4. Tirunot

_Suddenly the bus pulls out and it finally sinks in on me. 'I'm in the army now'._

"That was the longest most draining day of my life." She told Tony. I was as white as a spirt and had a shocked look on my face in my ID photo"

"It's 'white as a ghost' Ziva" he corrected.

"Whatever. Anyways on to the next picture. As you can see My uniform is beige-"

"Ya I wanted to ask you about that. I thought it was green?"

"The Air Force and Navy are beige and all the rest is green" she explained. "I was in the Air Force, just like my Ima"

_Flashback_

_I had finally finished the entrance. I am now a solider. We were all waiting to get on the bus that would take us to Tironut. I was assigned to the Air Force. Just like Ima. She would be so pleased. I know that Abba was in Intelligence but I don't care. I'm not a nerd. The Air Force is more my speed and I heard they have better living conditions. Suddenly a short chubby girl along with a very hot guy both dressed in Air Force uniforms approached us and began to yell at us to get in a line. Being as new as we were we did as we were told._

_After entering the bus I made my way to the back 'As far away from them as I could get'. They made us sit in silence. We were only allowed to move to fill out the papers they gave us._

_"Alright we are on are way to a Tironut base in the south. You will be there for 21 days before going back home for the first time..." I didn't hear a thing after that. '21 days?!!!" Since when do people stay on base 21 days at the beginning? I'm a girl. They don't do that to girls. Can they? They wrote me in the letter with my orders that I would be at home on the first shabbat!_

_We drove for what felt like forever until we reached the base. We were told to get off the bus and put our bags in a pile then make a "Chet" ( A 3 walled square). We had 30 seconds. We did as told and counted down while doing it. I made it in time but others were not so lucky._

_A bunch of other soldiers came. Both men and women if you can call them that. After all they were only 19 at the most. They circle around us like they were stalking their prey. They almost look like they are going to pounce. I think they might..._

_We are then devided into groups and rooms. We all take our bags to our new rooms. We were given an hour to get ready for bed. I got all my things out for the shower as fast as I could and ran to the showers. After all we were around 70 girls and only 5 showers, and we only had an hour until we all had to be in bed and lights out. _

_I waited a few minutes for a shower. When it was my turn I began to take off my clothes. I had never been naked in front of other people before. Strangers no less! It felt weird. I was so embarrassed at first but I also felt so gross I just wanted to wash away everything that had happened that day._

_I took a shower as fast as I could. I then brushed my teeth and ran to my room where I got my bed ready. The whole place was gross from the showers to the mattress it was all dirty. I got into bed and saw I still had 10 minutes left. I took out my cell phone and called home._

_"Hello" It felt so good to hear my mothers voice I wanted to cry._

_"Ima" I couldn't believe how soft my own voice was._

_"Ziva'le! How are? Where are you? Oh, you must tell me everything!"_

_"I'm in the Air Force Ima, like you were"_

_"Ahh..then you will be just fine metuka! The Air Force is the best and between us the most important." I had to giggle at that. I have always known that the Air Force was snobby. "I miss you Ima!"_

_"I miss you too my love but you will be home for Shabbat in a few days yes?"_

_"I have to be here 21 days Ima! Can you believe that?!"_

_"It is strange dear but ze katan aliech metuka __**(Means: It is small on you-saying)**__. You will do fine."_

_"I hope so Ima. I have already learned one thing to day"_

_"What is that Neshama?"_

_"I am not an army person. I hate it"_

_End of flashback_

Tony burst out laughing until he saw the serious look on Ziva's face and stopped."And yet you went into Mossad" Tony said as he ran his finger over the photo. It was the first one Ziva took in uniform. It was about 5 sizes too big but she still looked cute. She was standing at her new base in front of a flag pole. It was very dark out but he could still make out the blank look on her face. Ziva noticed his stare at the photo.

"I was in shock I think" he nodded still not looking away. "I wasn't always a tough assassin Tony. That came much later. I used to be just a normal teenage girl. I wasn't tough, I didn't know how to fight and yes, believe it or not Tony I was scared of things". She sounded almost bitter. Tony took her hand in his. "I know that Ziva. You are a wonderful caring person and a great friend."

"Todah Tony".

"So keep going"

"Well everything got worse after that..."

_Flashback_

_It was 4:50 am and my alarm on my cell phone went of. I had to be dressed and in place at 5:20 or else. I ran to the bathroom to get ready and luckily I made it on time._

_We stood in a chet as told when a young pretty girl approached us. She was not smiling, I don't think she knows how. She yelled. Told us to grow up, to realise that we are in the military now. She ordered us around and explained to us the ways of the IDF._

_~ncis~ _

_When we got are M-16's at first I was excited. Now I hate it. It is heavy and makes my back hurt. We have to take it everywhere! In the shower we have to sleep with it under are pillow-"_

_End of flashback_

"So that's why you do that!" Tony interrupted. Ziva laughed slightly. "No I do that for diffrent reasons. Now I sleep holding a pistol, then the gun was almost as big as me. as a matter of fact I had a friend named Naama and her gun dragged on the ground because she was so short." she smiled at the memory. Naama really was a small girl. _'I always thought she would break'_

"There you are aiming your gun!" Tony commented on the other picture on the page showing Ziva in a green uniform that was also much to big for her small frame. she had on a green hat as well. She lay on the dusty ground aiming her gun. "I struggled so much to hold it up the way they told me." she shared. It had to be held a certen way and I just couldn't manege to hold it after an hour. When I tried to get up I let the barrel point to far to the side. Then the clip fell on the ground when I had to release it. My Camander almost killed me" she looked so upset while telling her this. He could only guess what that must have felt like for her.

_Flashback_

_"David! What do you think you are doing! I will not let you pass Tironut you sorry excuse for a solider!" I was in shock. I couldn't breathe and all I wanted to do was cry. We had been out in the middle of nowhere shooting for hours. It was over a hundred degrees outside and we had almost no food 'not that that is anything new'. "Are you not capable of following any orders? Do you not want to go home to see your family in the near future?"_

_I was shaking. I was trying so hard to fight back the tears but I knew she could tell how upset I was, and that is what made me really want to cry._

_End of flashback_

The memory still hurt her. That much he could tell. He wrapped his arm around her shoulders and pulled her to him. "It's ok Ziva, it's ok" she whispered into her ear, his breath tickling her neck. "We had been there for 2 hard weeks and I just wanted to go home." she told him. So quietly he could hardily hear her. "I just wanted to go home.

After sitting like that for a few minutes he felt her smile. He turned to face her and was met with a smile. "It was not all bad you know". She told him of the pranks they played and the songs they would sing in the shower. Of the friends she met and the funny stories they told. "You know Tony, as hard as it was and as much as I hated it. I cannot say that I am sorry it happened. I am glad it did. I met such wonderful people and really came to be who I am."

_Flashback_

_The whole 21 days was hard but it changed me. I felt like a new person. I was pushed to do things I never thought I could but I did. I made great friends. I also learned important things that would help me in the future. I must admit that when I realized that this was the end I was sad. Relieved but sad. I had made such beautiful friendships with these girls and now I probably would not see them again._

_End of Flashback_

_(__**a.n. I would have loved to have written more about the boot camp experience but due to security reasons I am not alowed to talk about what all we are trained for at different levels blah blah blah.)**_

"I love this photo. You are beautiful Ziva"

She blushed slightly. It was a picture of herself dressed in uniform with her gray bureau on. "My father took that one". She told him. "It was the day of my swearing in and the first time I had seen them since I went in. I was about 8 pounds lighter and had a very strong tan. She gave a slight chuckle. "I remember seeing their car come and running to it as fast as I could. The second my Ima got out of the car a wrapped her in the tightest hug possible. Eli did not even recognise me I had changed so much"

"What was that day like?"

"I just remember holding a gun in one hand and the Tanach or bible as you call it in the other waiting for my name to be called. Once it was I ran up to the Mefakedit, and the other officers I pledged my life to Israel and went back in line. I remember all of us yelling 'Ani Nishbat!" and then singing 'HaTikva'. I have never felt so proud" she finished with a far off look in her eye. "But maybe I was just happy cause I was going home the next day" They both laughed at that.

"Who are the two girls with you in this one?" he pointed to the album.

"Well, The one I am hugging is my friend Chen."

"Is that the one that came to visit a few years back? The one you text 5 times a day?"

"Yes that is her. I never would have made it without her. She held me when I cried and I held her when she did. We both played pranks and somehow made it out of there unpunished."

"You were a trouble maker?"

"Hey that was just the beginning. Wait till you see the rest of the album"

"Before we do, who is the other one?"

"That was my mefakedet or commander whatever you'd like to call it, Yarden"

"She is hot!"

"She is probably one of the most changing people on my life. She changed me. Helped in a way turn me in to who I am"

"You guys were close huh"

"Oh God no! I hated her!" She responded almost as if she was disgusted by the thought.

"Ok, ok sorry. I'm turning the page now"

**Chen and Yarden are real people. I owe them both so much! **

**Please review.**


	5. Tekes Ashba'a

**I would like to thank everyone for reviewing! It means so much! Enjoy!**

"Ok, ok sorry. I'm turning the page now". He had to laugh when he saw the next two pages. They were obviously from the same event. He saw a young Ziva in her air force uniform with her hat on, standing in line with what looked to be like over a hundred other girls. They all tried their best to lookas good as they could. Much fancier then what he has seen so far. "All these pictures look the same" He told her. "That was the first time I saw my mother cry" she confessed. "That is my Tekes Ashba'ah or swearing in if you will. "Ahh I see." My parents kind of went crazy over it. Ari was never in the IDF you see, for obvious reasons." She really didn't want to get into that right now. "I was their first child going in, they were very proud. They did not know at the time I would be their only child to serve" she added sadly.

He looked at family photos, pictures of Ziva with her friends, Ziva alone. He couldn't help but notice how beautiful she was. Her skin was much darker then it is now from being in the sun all day. Her hair was a little shorter then it is now pulled back in a messy but pretty bun, her eyes sparkled. They were the same eyes she has today but softer, happier.

"You look so happy"

"I was! It was the first time I had seen my family since I went in. Heck it was the first time I had a good meal since I became a shoulder."

"Tali looked just like your father" he commented without thinking. Hoping he didn't say something wrong.

"Yes, she did."

"You all look so happy"

"We were."

_Flashback_

_Today is the day I get to see my family. I can't wait! "Ziva, Come on the bus is here to take us to meet our families!" Adi yells. I grab my bag of dirty clothes that I plan on sending back with my Ima. I didn't think I would miss them this much. We were never really that close but since going through all this...I just want to sleep! I want to sleep for a long time._

_I get on the bus and sit next to Chen. "I don't know if my Ima will make it on time to get to see her" she says almost in tears. "What?! I am sure she is doing all she can Chen, she will be here. I know it!" _

_"I hope you are right"_

_We arrived and some families were already waiting. I looked for Ima and Abba but I couldn't find them. I take out my cell phone and call._

_"Alo!"_

_"Abba!"_

_"Zivush! Kapara we are almost there." I let out the breath I didn't know I was holding._

_"Ok, I'll wait by the gate"_

_"See you soon Motek!"_

_I make my way towards the gate and wait till I see the car. The second I was sure it was them I began to run to the car. By the time I got there the car was parked and they were getting things out of the trunk. _

_"IMA!!!" I yell and wrap my arms around her as tightly as I can. I know I must be hurting her but she didn't seam to care._

_"Ziva! booba, my you have changed."_

_I let go of her and wrap my arm around Tali and look at Abba who is staring at me with a look so diffrent then what I am used to seeing._

_"Abba?" I question. "What is wrong?"_

_"Nothing it is just-" he sounds more emotional then I have ever heard him. "You have changed so much, I hardly recognized you kapara"_

_I went to him and hugged him akwardly. _

_"I have not changed that much Abba"_

_"It is all in your eyes my love, you are no longer a little girl"_

_"Now, now Eli, Come let us eat"_

_At that we go to sit on the grass and have a picnic before the ceremony begins_

_End of flashback_

"No way! He didn't recognize you?"

"No, I know I didn't believe it either"

"Keep going."

"Ok, so we had the picnic and then we went to the area of the ceremony and I ate like a pig. I mean a just grumbled it up like crazy!"

"Its gobbled it up Zee"

"Oh, sorry. But I was quite hungry. You know for breakfast everyday we had tomatoes, cucumbers and a hard boiled egg. Oh and stale bread, not green or anything but hard."

"No wonder you lost all that weight"

"For lunch it was either rice or cooscoos with hot dogs but the most disgusting hot dogs you have ever had. To this day I cannot eat a hot dog."

"I'm scared to ask what dinner was like"

"Rice or cooscoos with the same salad we had for breakfast. At Tironut there was never enough food, and we didn't have a Shekem, that is like a mini market on bases so we just smoked to get over hunger."

"I was going to ask you about that. I've seen a lot of pictures of you smoking"

"Yes, I smoked every now and then when I was out with friends on the weekend but after I got into the IDF...well...lets just say Philip Morris became my best friend"

"But you have stopped?"

"Mostly, One never really stops being a smoker, even if the quit. To answer your question I do acatonly smoke."

"Ducky would kill you!"

"That is why he will never find out." she left no room for argument.

"So get to the ceremony already..."

_Flashback_

_I here the music start and we are off. I try my best to make sure that I step in time and don't trip on my much to long pants. We are finally close eungh and I look through the crowed hopping to spot everyone. I see them sitting on the left side. almost right in front of me. Tali is standing on a chair to see and Ima has tears running down her face. 'Dang Ima it hasn't even started yet and you are already crying'._

_Abba is standing with the video camera taping. 'This will come back to bite me in the butt I know'._

_The Rasal is talking and I am haveing I hard time holding my gun up straight. My arm feels like it is going to fall off._

_Finally the music starts and my commander starts calling names. 'Don't trip Ziva, don't let your kumta fall off your head, speak laud enough, don't mess this up' I keep saying to myself. Suddenly I hear "Ziva La'Mem-mem!" 'Oh gosh thats me go!'._

_"Ken Ha'Mefakedet!" I yell as laud as I can I run up and the Samelet gives me a copy of the Tanach. I smile at her because she was the only one who gave a shit I think and salute to the Mem-mem. The same woman, 'If I can call her that she is only 20' who yelled at me during gun training._

_She realeses me and tells me to swear. "Ziva Tishabe!"_

_At this moment I don't care how much I hate her or how unfair she was to me and the other girls. All I care about is that this is my moment. Right now all my hard work is paying off and I will be able to call myself a soldier. I feel such pride. I think of my family who died in the holocaust because they did not have their own land or an army to protect them. I think of my Sabba who fought in the war of Independence. I think of my cousin Roni who died in the line of duty. This is it. 'It is your turn to protect Israel' I can hear my mother say._

_"Ken Ha'Mem-mem ani nishbat!" I yell. I salute and then run back in line. There is no going back now._

_End of flashback_

"...and after everyone did that we all sung Ha'Tikva and it was over" Ziva had a very sad look on her face. Tony didn't think he had ever seen her look like that before. He wrapped his arm around her shoulders and she snuggled into his.

"Sometimes I just miss it so much" she said and he could hear the tears in her voice. "I want you to understand" she looks up into his eyes no longer trying to hide her crying. "I love it here, I love my NCIS family. I care about you, you all so much. But sometimes I miss home. I miss not having to think so much before I speak so I don't mix it up. I miss being able to understand every joke. I miss bamba!"

"Ziva that ok, that is more then ok and we understand. You don't have to pretend not to miss it."

"I just do not want you to think that I am not grateful to you all-"

"Ziva we understand."

"Thank you Tony"

"Anytime sweet cheeks" he smiled.


	6. Biet

**Hey All! Sorry it takes me so long to update. As I have said, I am in the IDF now (well IAF that is why I made Ziva too because we rock!) so I don't have a lot of free time. Your reviews mean so much and motivate me to write as often as possible. I would also like for you to tell me what you want to hear about. As I have said I cannot write much about Ziva's training and operations but more of the personal side of things which I believe made her who she is today. Would you like more or less flashbacks? More Tiva? Or just any feedback at all.**

**Thanks so much!**

"Thank you Tony"

"Anytime sweet cheeks" he smiled. "So after your ceremony was over what happened?"

"Well, we basicly tied up all loose ends and prepared to leave the next morning to go home"

"I bet you were thrilled, I know I'd be"

"I was, I wanted nothing more then to go home, take a long nice hot shower all by myself, to eat good food, to sleep in late, but a part of me would miss the girls I was with. During Tironut one makes very strong bonds with those they go through it with. I knew them for a short time but became closer to them more then any of my other friends. We helped each other through it, held each other when we cried. It really was a life changing time...but I must say I still really wanted to go home"

_Flashback_

_This is it. Our last night! Tomorrow we go home! "There is no way we are sleeping tonight" Likush told us. "Well duh!" Shachar agreed. "I think we should party!" I added. "Are you crazy?! They will kill us!" Lital said. She was always the "goodie-goodie" I don't think she got in trouble once. I wish I could say the same. I was always getting in trouble mostly for being 'smart'. It was worth it, I got really strong arms from all the pushups I had to do._

_"Oh Litali! what can they do to us? We leave in the morning!". "If I know our Mifakedet she'll find a way." "Well I say let her!"_

_We messed around all night but kept quiet. We joked, looked back on everything and things that seamed so hard or scary we now looked back on and laughed. We played games and talked about what the next week would bring. Finlay it was time to get dressed and pack our bags. This was it._

_We got on the buses that would take us home at 6 am. We were so tired we slept all the way to the bus station in Ber Sheva. When we got off the bus we all started crying, saying our good-byes and hugging each other. Then I made my way to the bus th_at _would take me home. I was so happy when it came and I got on. I flipped out my military ID for the first time. The driver nodded at me and let me go take my seat. I couldn't wipe the smile off my face for anything. After what felt like days but really was about 2 hours I made it to the Bus station in my hometown. I looked around and saw Abba waiting for me in the car. I snuck up on him and opened up the back door across from him "Hey Sir can I have a ride" I joked. He laughed at that. "But of course young lady were you need?" he answered playing along. "Where ever you are going is fine"._

_I couldn't stop talking the whole way home. When we got there I put my bag by the door and was greeted by everyone. My Sabba and Savta along with aunt Neddie would be coming tonight for Shabbat dinner._

_I sat at the table and Ima made me lots of food to eat as I told her all about Tironut._

_End of flashback_

_"__So even back then you were a super ninja and could sneak up on Eli?"_

_"Of course not! I know now that he was Mossad therefor a 'Super Ninja' as well. At the time though he acted like any other father would."_

_"So did you enjoy your time off?"_

_"Oh, it was wonderful but much to short. I got home Friday around 11 am and had to leave Sunday at 6 am,"_

_"Thats not enough time."_

_"Not at all. I went to a base up north for a course in the field that I worked in"_

_"How long was that for?"_

_"Almost three months. I don't really remember anything we 'learned' there. I learned everything on the job. It feels like all we did there was mop."_

_"You?" Tony had a hard time believing anyone could turn Ziva into a cleaning lady._

_"Oh yes. I must have moped over 5,000 times during my service. And that doesn't count my living area."_

_"You sure it wasn't a course in cleaning?" the both laughed at that._

_"I am going to go get a drink, you want anything?" she asked while getting up and heading towered the kitchen._

_"I beer would be great, thanks!"_

_After she returned with 2 beers Tony spoke. "I really like that you are opening up to me Zee."_

_"I do too Tony. I am just sorry it has taken this long"_

_"At least we are doing it now. So what is going on here?" Tony asked looking at a picture of 5 guys all in green what he had learned to understand as work uniforms for the IAF all holding a smiling Ziva._

_"That Tony is part of being one of only two girls in a course of 30 people." She said smiling. Tony's face fell. 'Maybe I should have gone into the IDF and not to college' he thought._

_**Sorry it is short but I plan on adding another chappy tonight. Tony's quote is one a friend of mine from the states said when he looked at some of my pics. Like I said before please review and tell me want you want to hear about.**_


	7. Course

**Thanks everyone so much for the reviews! I am very sorry I have taken so long to update...I hate life! It keeps getting in the way haha!**

**I am glad you all like the flashbacks and I will try to add some more tiva in for you all.**

"It was such a fun 2 months" she told him. "I met some wonderful people, I am still in touch with a few". "Any of the guys?" ha asked not caring how jealous that sounded. "As a matter of fact yes. With two of them if you must know but not in the way you think". He looked closely at the guys holding Ziva. None of them looked her type _"wait! do I even know what her type is?"_

"The one in the middle" she said pointing to him. "That is Ben, he and one of my best friends Karin got married. They met there during the course" she told him. "They have 4 kids now". She had a far of look in her eye. "Do you ever regret not having a husband and kids" he said throwing her words right back at her. She may not have known at the time but he was listening to her in the car. He didn't tell her but he did, and still does.

"Hmm, I feel I have heard that question before" she smiles. "To answer your question, yes and no." "Care to explain...". "Well, I would like to be married and have a family. However, I do not see that being possible in my past because of Mossad. My old life was no place for a baby in it."

"And now?" he whispered. He was looking right at her. She felt as if he could see through her, as if he knew what she was really thinking but unable to say. "I do not know" she finnaly answered. He knew she was lying but decieded to let it go.

"This one is from our room, we were bored because it was the day before Yom Kipur and there were so very few people on base. We had nothing to do that day." She told him. He stared down looking at the picture of Ziva along with three other girls. They were all in white tank tops with their green army pants. Their hair was down and and they were mock saluting.

_Flashback_

_"This is just awesome!" I yell. "Oh calm down Ziva" Noy said. "I just love this! First we had Shabbat with almost nothing to do and today we got to sleep in and have free! I love Yom Kipur from today on...and to think I used to hate it."_

_"It still sucks that we are on base" Dina added. "The only reason we are having such a good time is because everyone is at home! Were we should be. And it still sucks cause we have to fast." _

_"Oh would you guys knock it off" Karin said as she turned on the speakers to play some Bob Marley. We sat on the two bottom bunk beds and opened up the junk food. Bamba, Bisli, chocolates, it was all there. "Eat up girls cause the fast starts tonight" I told them stuffing some more bamba in my mouth._

_After eating we began dancing around the room and just messing around and Karin took a bunch of pictures. We make silly poses and in others tried to look pretty. We showered and got in our beighe dress uniforms to go to the Beit Kaneset for prayer._

_After services we sat outside in the small area between the girls building and the boys. We hung out together and played games, went for walks around the base, got in trouble for wandering off to areas we were not allowed in. It has been the best Yom Kipur I have ever had._

_End of flashback_

"I really enjoyed my time there." she said as she put her head on his shoulder. "I remember being so sad when in all ended" she said looking at a picture of the whole course with their commander Shelly at what appeared to be a bowling ally. "You guys went bowling?" Tony asked raising an eyebrow. "Yes, whats wrong with that?" She asked raising her head to give him a death glare. _'Damn did I blow it, not only did I say something wrong but she sat up!' _He didn't like to admit it but he missed the her warmth. He turned the page and sure enough there were about another three pages of pictures from the party at the bowling ally. "What happened after that?" he asked her.

_Flashback_

_Yesterday was so much fun. It was nice to let loose and have fun. Our Mefakedt Course or Shelly as we are now allowed to call her was great! It was nice to get a chance to talk to her as a person now that we have graduated and are even. Today we get to find out where we will be stationed for the next year and seven months (yes I have started counting!). We sit here in the classroom waiting. Finlay Shelly enters with the lists along with our papers. They begin to call people up. Some will be going together in pairs or more. I hope I get to go with Karin. I don't _

_know how I'll mange without her or maybe I'll get to go with Nati, he is a great guy, or maybe Mor or..._

_All thoughts are cutt off when I hear my name and the base. I feel like dying. It is way down south. 3 hours from my home. I really don't want that base. I heard it is nothing special and kind of old. Oh well it doesn't matter as long as I get to go with great people. Abba always told my in life it is not the job but the people you work with that is important. After all the names were called I find myself alone. No one else is going there, just me._

_We all say goodbyes. Some I say at the exit of base. Others at the train staition. I rode the whole way with Nati. We talked as if nothing is changing. Then it was my stop. I tell him goodbye and that I will miss him. 'he really has been a great friend'. He surprises me by getting up and pulling me into a tight hug. "You be in tuch woman" he says. I couldn't help but laugh. He always calls me that. I promise I will and get off the train. I get home and get ready for bed seeing as how it is 10:30 pm and my bus is at 7:00. In a way I up sad that I will be going somewhere new alone. A "Tzair" (__**AN-means "young" a nickname for soilders that are new) **__another part of me is excited. Tomarrow is the real start of my service._

_End of flashback_

"You had to go to a base by yourself?"

"Yes"

"But why?"

"I don;t know Tony sometimes it just works out that way".

:How was it?"

"It was the the best base they could have put me in."

**I am on break for a few days so I hope to update everyday till I go back. Remember reviews are what keep me going!**


	8. Ha'Yom Ha'Rishon

"It was the the best base they could have put me in." Ziva told him. Her voice full of confidence. She had no doubt in her mind. "You see Tony that was not at all the base I wanted to and up at. However I believe that everything is for good yes. That everything happens for a reason. That is why I tried my best to go there not expecting anything but good."

_Flashback_

_"You are sure you have everything Ziva'le" I can here Ima yell from the kitchen. "Yes Ima!" I call back. I hope I do have everything. Last night I was much to tired to pack and this morning was such a rush. "Ok well yakirati..." Ima says entering the room to hug me. "Have a safe trip, try to have fun and look at the bright side." "I will Ima" I answer wrapping my arms around her in a good bye hug. "Remember it is only till Thursday and today is Tuesday so it won't be that bad."_

_"I know Ima, yallla bye Ima!" I say and leave the house on my way to the taxi waiting to take me to the bus station._

_I get to Ber Sheva late because of traffic. 'I knew I should have left earlier.' I wait 2 hours for the next bus. I am a little worried because I will be a few hours late 'Way to make a good first impression David'._

_The bus finally arrives and I listen to my CD player (__**AN-at the time there were no ipods so I switched it to be more fitting but in real life I used my ipod who is named "tiva" lol) **__we arrive at the base and for the first time I look around me. All I see is sand and big hills of rock and sand. It looks like someone was driving south, south, south and when he found a place so far from everything he said: ;'lets put a base here. I come up to gate and knock on the window to speak with the girl in charge of entrance for new people or guests but she still doesn't responded. I keep tapping loudly until she answers. "Papers" she says flatly. I reach in my small purse and pull out the paper I received yesterday from my Mefakedet. I then pull my Choger (ID) out of my breast pocket and hand it to her. She looks at them both. "Go to the Rishum" and she shuts the window. A moment later the gaurd opens the gate for me. She looks like she has been here for hours and on a cold, windy and rainy day like today I can't help but feel sorry for her. I give her a small smile as I pass and can hear her say "Good luck"._

_It is freezing cold and it starts to rain harder. My back hurts because my bag is so heavy. I look at the long road ahead of me. It looks like it goes on for miles but I know it really is not that long at all. I walk for about five minuites when I see a souilder. He is wearing a blue flight suit._

_"Do you know where the Rishum office is?" I ask._

_"Yeah it is by the Tash on the way to the dining hall". "Where is that?" I ask again. "Sorry it's my first day." I explain. "Oh, sorry about that." he says though he doesn't look it at all."Keep going straight till you get to the cross walk up there" I see the one he is pointing at and nod. Then you go into the building across from the Beit Kaneset and you'll see it."_

_"Todah" I say and make my way there._

_When I enter the girls working there look less then thrilled to see me. 'I guess I am just more work for them'. I sign all the papers they asked me to and then waited for them to call my future Mefaked. _

_Around half an hour later a tall chubby bald man enters. "Where is my new Chayal "(the male word for solider. for a girl it is Chayelet)_

_"Here!" I say and stand up as tall as I can He looks down to see me and his smile fades. "You?" "Yes HaMefaded" I say much less sure of myself. "What am I going to do with you?" He asks. "Girls can't do the things we work with" I look at the floor feeling very out of place. "You mean there are no other girls?" I ask. "Well in our gaff as a whole there are 6, in our machlaka, what I am in charge and what really matters we have two that will be leaving in two weeks but they are horses. There is no way you can do it". I don't like hearing I can't do something."I can try sir." I say the force back in my voice._

_We arrive at my new machlaka. He takes me into his office and I sit down on the chair. "Coffee? Tea?" he asks. "No thanks" I say and begin to look at my fingernails. "My name is Shmuel Aharon. Most people just call me Aharon. I run the machlaka."_

_"Yes sir" He pulls out what apearse to be a microphone and all of a sudden I hear a very high pich noice fallowed by his voice on a speaker. "All soilders report to my office" _

_After a few moments the office is filled with people. I know they are all around my age but they appear to be so much older. They look at me as if I am a new toy to play with. The first one I notice is an older looking man. He appears to be older then Aharon and his name tag says Teddy on it. Next to him is a man also career but not as old. He appears to be Druz. His name is Samir. I continue looking at the people around the room. My eyes fall on a short guy, he looks around 20. The first thing I notice are his bright blue eyes. He was a redhead and had a beard. He smiled at me. The first one I had seen since I got here I looked at his name tag, "Ron". Then next to him was a tall gangly kid. I say kid because he did not look much older then me his name was Adam and it fit him . He had olive skin and had black hair. Next was a short kind of fat guy . He had a kippa on his head and a unkept beard. His name was Moshe. After was a tall well built guy named Guy. He smiled at me until the girl next to him hit his arm. Her name tag said Natalie. She was around 5"5 and 130 lb. She wasn't ugly but not cute either. She had an arm wrapped around Guy. I could tell by the look she gave me that they were together and he was off limits._

_On the other side of the room was a tall blonde Russian girl name Anna. She would be in charge of helping me get adjusted and learning the ropes. With her was a small Russian boy who looked like a baby in a small teenage boy's body. His name was Boris and he had been in Israel for only 8 months and did not speak much to him stood the hottest guy I have ever seen. He was very tall and well built. I can tell he works out. He has dark hair and dark eyes. I learn his name is Gilad and he smiles at me. I feel like I have butterflies in my stomach and my heart melts. He is just perfect._

_The last one was the one that sat in the empty chair next to me. He was young. No older then 20 but in a way looked old. His name was Shai._

_After meeting everyone I was sent to work with them. When I say work I mean watch them work. I was not allowed to touch anything until I passed some tests. After we closed up for the night I went with Anna to the girls dorms. She spoke with the head girl of the building who said she would find me a room of my own. For tonight I would sleep in Natalie's bed because she left to go home for some reason unknown to me._

_I felt out of place and unwanted in the room. Like I didn't belong and was messing with the flow of things. I didn't bother going to dinner. I just made my bed, took a shower and curled up in bed with a book I brought with me until I fell asleep._

_End of flashback_

"You know that didn't sound like a very good day" Tony said. "It was not" Ziva answered. "But I thought you said-"

"It was the first day Tony. It took time. trust me but it all works out listen..." she said as she turned the page to show him a picture of herself in a tank and boxers with 3 other girls painting what appears to be their room.

**Ziva's first day at her base was really my first day at mine. Everything is real and so are the people (their names were changed). I didn;t go to bed my first day though I watched episodes on NCIS on the DVD player in the room but that didn't fit the story so I changed that. I hope you all liked it. Remember the people because they will be a major part of this story. Please review!**


	9. Chay'ye Lila

"You know that didn't sound like a very good day" Tony said. "It was not" Ziva answered. "But I thought you said-" he argued but was cut off by her explanation.

"It was the first day Tony. It took time. Trust me, but it all worked out. Listen..." she said as she turned the page to show him a picture of herself in a tank and boxers with 3 other girls painting what appears to be their room on base.

"What is going on here?" Tony asked with a smirk. "Oh, that" Ziva said appearing embarrassed. "That was us painting our room before Pesach". She said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. Tony couldn't take his eyes off her in that picture. Her boxers were purple with light blue poka-dots, her tank top matched the shorts. Her hair was in a loose ponytail and she had what appeared to be a bit of paint in it. The other girls looked to also be a mess. He heard her talking somewhere in the back of his mind yet he couldn't seam to take his eyes away from the smile on her face.

"Tony...Tony...Tony!"_ 'Why isn't he answering?'_"To-" she was quickly cut off by him finally answering her. "You guys are all over 18 here right?" he asked in the 'Old Playboy Tony' kind of way. Ziva didn't by it, not for a moment. She knows he isn't that guy anymore. She could see the look on his face, the way he looked at her in the picture. It made her pulse quicken. She decided to play along, at least for now. "Yes Tony". "Just making sure" she said giving her a classic DiNozzo grin. "I had never had that much fun." She shared honestly. "Ok, I did have more fun once. There was this one other time on a Shabbat on base..."

_Flashback_

_Chagit finally came back! She was on leave for family reasons for the last 3 weeks! I have never had a best friend before, much less a girl. I have always been a tomboy. I never really got close to people but Chagit is different._

_"Ok I am cooking dinner for us cause you know there is no point in going to the dining hall" I say loudly over the music blasting from the speakers. I take out the multi-chef that we are not allowed to have due to fire risk. I deiced on brown rice with nuts and raisins. Chagit is making a salad that looks great._

_After we were stuffed we looked around and noticed that we still had a bunch of food left over. "I'll call up Gilad, I am sure he is hungry and will want some" I say with a huge smile. I have been at the base for almost 5 months now and since the first day I have had a huge crush on him. This is the first time I have ever been shy about my feelings for a guy. My main concern is that we work together and will have to work together for the next year and few months. We also have a beautiful friendship that I would hate to mess up just because I find him hot._

_Chagit begins to dig for something through her bag as I make the call. I think I hear her mutter 'love sick idiot' but choose to ignore it. "Hello" I hear on the line. "Hey it's me" I say hoping I didn't sound to excited to be talking to him. "Hey whats up Zee?" 'Maybe this wasn't such a stupid idea after all!'._

_"Ok, Hey listen. We made a bunch of food tonight for dinner and have a bunch of leftovers if you and the guys are hungry"_

_"Yeah! That would be awesome. I am still in kitchen duty but I'll call you when I get out"_

_"Ok, talk to you then, bye!"_

_"Bye!"_

_Thanks goodness that was over with. As much as I enjoy talking to him I am always so stressed that I will say the wrong thing and mess everything up. _

_"Ok, talk to you then, bye!" I hear Chagit mimic me in a fake high voice. I pick up my pillow and toss it at her. "Hey!" she yells at me though not mad at all. "What are you looking for?"_

_"I found it" she says with a devilish grin and pulls out a bottle of vodka."Only you" I tell her and we begin to talk, drink and eat junk food._

_After a little bit I get a phone call. I run over to my phone hoping it's Gilad. Thankfully, I am not disappointed. "You still have the food?" he asks me. I can hear the smile in his voice. _

_"Yeah"_

_"I'll meet you outside your building in 5"_

_"Sounds good"_

_I get ready and meet him, forgetting what I must smell like. "You girls are drinking?" He asks only have shocked. "Yes" I answer sounding shy. "You know alcohol is not allowed on base right?"_

_"Yes" I answer as I look to the ground. "That's hot" he says then pulls me into a hug and kisses my cheek. When he pulls away I must look stunned because he is very quick to clarify that he has not seen me in a few day and just wanted to great me properly. "You can come to our room if you want" he says. I thing for a moment about Chagit but I know she will understand so I go._

_Gilad helps me sneak into the guys building. I enter the boys's room and it is a mess. "You guys are pigs" I tell them truthfully. I sit on the chair and watch tv with them for a while then decide that it is to dangerous. Almost every night officers go around checking to make sure that there are no girls in the boys building. After he walks me out I head back to my room. By then Chava and Gila are there. We continue to drink until we become quite tipsy. Soon we are jumping around and dancing in our bras at 3 am._

_End of Flashback_

"...and I woke up the next morning with such a hangover!"

Tony laughs at the story, then turns serious. He looks over at her sweetly but with no humor. "I wish I would have known you then" he tells her. "You look like you were so happy, so carefree. Like you could let loose and have fun. I want to know that Ziva. I mean it's not that I don't love you the way you are-" after seeing her face at what he said he knows he has made a mistake. "-as a friend. I love you as a friend. I mean of course-".

"Tony I understand." she calms him as she tries to hide the hurt she is feeling.

"I just wish you could be like that again, even if just for a second. Before Mossad, before all the shit with your dad. Before you lost your family". They stare at each other for what feels like an eternity but was really not more then a few moments. They have a conversation with their eyes. Ziva then nods at Tony and he gets up of the couch. He goes to the sterio in the room and turns on some music. "Dance with me?" he asks holding his hand out to her.

"Always" she replies then takes his hand. He pulls her close and she loves the feeling, loves his smell, loves everything about him. She knows that this is right so she snuggles closer and enjoys her dance with Tony.

**Hope you all love the tiva! Please review!**


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